Since becoming a mom, I have truly realized the value of” me time.” Time alone. With no one clinging to my leg or trying to get my attention by calling my name 40 times within 5 inches of my face. Going to the next room without being followed by a wobbly (yet adorable) toddler, or even cooking a meal without kids climbing on chairs to try and give me a hand (I encourage them to help, but sometimes, I want to do my own thing, you know?) My brain is always on, and my body is constantly solicited. I am sure you know the feeling. This is why moms need alone time.
Sometimes, we need to be physically left alone for a couple of hours to help ease the overstimulation of having small kids. In some cases of desperately needing to be alone, a solo trip to the grocery store may suffice. But honestly, when was the last time your cup was filled from shopping in the produce aisle? I am talking about having time to rest, relax, and do something you love. Something that will recharge your batteries and let you feel like yourself again.
The benefits of being alone
Yes, alone time is lovely, but the real issue is the guilt we moms feel when we take time for ourselves. I mean, surely there is something more productive we can do with our time? It might feel that way, but solo time has many benefits, such as increased creativity and productivity. However, a key benefit for us moms is how solo time positively affects our mental health. Studies have shown that women who enjoy alone time are happier, manage stress better and suffer less depression. It can also help us better process our emotions and pinpoint our needs.
More on the benefits here.
Make it a priority
Now that you have acknowledged that this is a necessity take some time to plan when you would like/ need some time to yourself. Schedule it to make it happen because, let’s face it, we only have a little free time on our hands. Time to yourself daily can be as simple as waking up thirty minutes earlier, enjoying your coffee on your own, and journaling or introducing a bedtime routine to help you unwind after a long day.
It would be best if you also aimed to have a “ME” day once a month (or every couple of months). Go for a solo hike, or get yourself pampered. Let dad take the kids out and catch up on some rest. Please put it on the calendar and make it a priority. You need to recharge those batteries; compromising your well-being won’t cut it in the long run.
Talk to your partner
If time to yourself is hard to carve out and you are conflicted with feelings of guilt and a sense of duty (I’ve been watching too many episodes of the crown), then have a conversation with your partner. Do you feel they get more solo time than you and resent them for it? Or maybe you feel selfish asking for something you know they also don’t have. Ask them how they are feeling in that department. Are they also in need of the same? The more you talk about it, the better understanding you will have of each other’s needs. We are individuals, and our experiences with parenting are unique. You can then come up with a plan that can benefit you both.
But what would I even do?
I am often guilty of plopping on the couch at 8 pm once everyone is in bed, and I am a pro in the “what show will I watch to fall asleep tonight?” department. But I am working hard to change this habit and replace my Netflix binge with some quality time.
Need inspiration? Here are some ideas.
- Read a book or listen to an audiobook
- Have a home spa day
- Rekindle an old passion
- Go for a walk, hike or run
- Practice yoga
- Journal exercise (try this one)
- Create family photo albums
- Create a vision board
- Get a massage
- Cook a new dish
- Visit a museum
- Do your nails
- Indulge in your skincare routine
- Puzzles anyone?
- See a film
Any suggestions for this list? I’d love to hear from you.
Until next time mama!